[5-Bullet Tuesday] Do You Know the Devil’s DEADLIEST weapon?

Hi All,

Here’s your weekly dose of “5-Bullet Tuesday”, list of things I’m enjoying or pondering. 

 One Box Any House With Children Must Have—

A “What Should I Do?” Box.

We keep chits inside this box with an idea on each chit.

Kids often get bored and come back with the perennial “What Should I Do?” question. A question which no parent has ever been able to answer to their kid’s satisfaction!

That’s when this mystery box comes to our rescue.

The rule is that every time anyone asks that question, they have to draw a random chit out of the “What Should I Do?” box, and then follow whatever is written on it. It could be, “Read The Wimpy Kid”, “Draw Your Favourite Person’s Sketch”, or “Write on.. If I were a stray animal”.  

Anything creative basically.

During other times, kids are welcome to add new chits with novel ideas. Try to minimize chits like “Play on the phone” or “Watch TV” otherwise it defeats the purpose.

And to be honest, why just children, even I sometimes get a chit out and that gives my confused soul some creative direction.

 

Story I loved hearing –

Devil puts all his weapons for sale. It is a spectacular display on glass cases on a table:

  • A gleaming dagger, labelled JEALOUSY.
  • A sledgehammer, with its label ANGER
  • Bows labelled GREED and WANT
  • Arrows tipped in poison labelled LUST and ENVY

At a little distance is another of the tools from the Devil’s armoury. However, it is not as impressive as the rest of the weapons. It was a wedge of wood.

A visitor was checking out all these tools on display. He noticed that the price of this rather ordinary looking piece of wood was more than the combined price of all the other tools the Devil had!

He got very curious and asked the Devil why was that the case?

The Devil replied, “This one is my favourite. I can always rely on it and it works when all other weapons fail. Above all, unlike others, it doesn’t even look like a weapon, so my victims easily succumb to it.

The visitor looked closely at this tool once again; it had a label under it, that read: DISCOURAGEMENT.

 

A poem I wrote –

If you’re still not convinced about the “What Should I Do?” box, let me tell you that this poem, one of my creative geniuses (well, well, well!), evolved from a little chit from the same box!

Title of the poem: What If I Die Undone?

I spent a lot of time wondering what my real purpose of existence was. Then, a little incident changed my perspective – I accepted myself and my life the way it was.. and found happiness in it!

******************************

 What If I Die Undone?

I believe we’re here for a reason,

but I’m scared each day of every season,

for clock is ticking fast, the baby we held is now our teenage son! 

what if I can’t find it (the reason)

and die undone?

 

I am a writer, no a manager, crap… a painter, husband, papa and son,

all combined into one

but from all of the above, the sole reason for my existence can be none!

what if I can’t find it (the reason)

and die undone?

 

I seek God for an answer

… isn’t seeking God itself the reason?

I meditate: read Gita, Quran, Guru Granth and Bible

I was so close to the answer

but didn’t realize when it took me away from my dear ones

 

I was, after all, praying and reading from winter to fall

paying little attention to anything else

until my little two year old doll 

was hurt on her face.. so badly, hit with a ball

that’s when I realized

 

I needed to come back to life, …my life.

and play the roles, all of them, even if I master none!

I am a writer, a manager, a painter, husband, papa and son

and if I do justice to each of these one

There is no way I will die undone

 

I still believe we’re here for a reason,

and I’m living each day of every season,

playing all my roles well and having fun!

Alas! I found it,

I will not die undone!

******************************

What book I’ve been reading this year–

If there is one book I’d like to recommend which can go for the entire year round for you, it will have to be “The Daily Stoic: 366 Meditations on Wisdom, Perseverance, and Art of Living” by Ryan Holiday.  

It has a page for every calendar day which gradually increases your stoical quotient.

In case you don’t know, a stoic, by definition, is a person who can endure pain or hardship without complaining. Marcus Aurelius and Seneca for example.

 

Quote I’m pondering —

The great German philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche said this.

Amor – Love; Fati – Fate

Amor Fati is a mindset shift where you not on accept your reality but embrace it. Treating each and every moment – no matter how challenging – as something to be loved, not avoided.

I read this quote in The Daily Stoic itself. It suggested that our obstacles, adversities and fears will become the very fuel for our growth if we imbibe the mindset of Amor Fati.             

 

 


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Do What You Say!

Say what you do

Do what you say

A harmonious life

isn’t too far away

 

“Don’t play on the phone

Don’t shout, don’t fight!”,

said I, while talking on the phone

and was I polite?

 

Kids are either on the tab

or fighting or crying..

Boss is bad, ..no one understands.

…every moment, I’m dying!

 

Either they’re all insane,

or may be..,

just may be,

I’m doing something ‘not right’?

 

I thought all day,

..even sat to pray.

When I slept,

“He” showed me the way,

 

“Say what you do

Do what you say

A harmonious life

isn’t too far away”

 

All this while,

I was looking outside.

Practicing this mantra,

brought ‘peace’ to my life.

 

Just say what you do

Do what you say

A harmonious life

really isn’t too far away!


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Do You Shame Or Do You Love?


THE EVERYDAY SHAMING


“I practiced your surnames spellings’ in free time.”, the guard at the office reception said to me smilingly.

I go to this office reception everyday to get my visitor card made. That’s how the work arrangement is for me, I have to get visitor access daily to get in. Have been doing that for over six months now.

This guard, who sits next to the pretty receptionist, is supposed to enter my last name in to the computer which then pulls up my details needed to print the visitor pass.

Now, this guy is not comfortable using the keyboard, not good in English language and not even computer savvy. No wonder he’s terribly slow and unsure. But the pretty lady next to him doesn’t consider that as an excuse and misses no opportunity to scold him gravely for his slowness.

One more thing that makes the guard struggle is the spellings of my last name – SAWHNEY, which are a bit non-intuitive for any one.

Receptionist’s repeated under the belt attacks would have caused enough humiliation to the poor guy who is anyway not well read. So much so that he actually took out the time to practice the spellings of my last name and finally remembered it today.

For the first time, he seemed to have a sense of confidence and pride! I felt like he had been waiting for me to come today to get the visitor card. And it gave him a reason to be happy about himself.

I was touched – How much did this thing which is of no relevance to anyone else mean to this guy! I was glad that I was the cause of his smirk and tinkle today.

It proves the point that each one of us which ever level we might be at, long for a feeling of self-worth and respect.

That is a non-negotiable. We try to get it back if we see our self-respect being taken away. If we do get it back, we get a reason to keep going and if we don’t we fall into a trap. One of feeling inferior and on the receiving end. Being the butt of jokes! We try to act defensive and it shows. Over the time, this leads to serious depression or anxiety issues.


MY PRAYER


I pray that I don’t give anyone a feeling of lack of self worth. I pray that others keep this in mind while dealing with people. 

One does have to give feedback but I pray that we are considerate. Let’s not become focused on the individual’s inabilities, let’s focus instead on what is the improvement needed and help people genuinely.

I pray I do my best work but when I fail to meet other’s expectations, they too are considerate with me.

People will not change just because I want them to. I will get into situations when I will be insulted, made fun of or even be yelled at. I pray that I stay strong and in peace in such turbulent times.

I pray that I don’t consider paying them back in the same coin.

I pray that my peace conveys the message to the other person that they are the one who are in the wrong. That it’s their problem and not mine.

I pray that I worry only about what I can improve on and don’t blame myself more than that. I pray that I respect myself and that I’m able to move on.

I pray that I am able to come back stronger each time, and don’t kill myself over what I cannot do.

I pray that I  never undervalue my self worth. No matter what. That I am at peace in any circumstance. For the sake of my God, myself, my family and my work.

Amen.


SO, SHAME OR LOVE?


You can either shame someone or love someone.

You can either make the world slightly better or slightly worse.

Every moment.

What would you choose: Shame or Love?”


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What’s on Top of Your Mind?

Daddy, I have a surprise for you!”

Tanav, my 6 year old son, shouted from inside the living room, as Champa, our helper was opening the door for me. It was about 6 o’clock in the evening and Deepti and I were just back from work.

“I cant imagine how happy you’d be when you know what it is!”, He said.

I was more happy to realize that my little son is now grown up enough to give me surprises! It just fills your heart, you know!

He ran to his toy room and came back with his hands wrapped around something just enough to tantalize me.

“What is it, Tanav?”, I asked curiously.What on Your Mind?

He unwrapped his little hands from around it and what I saw really amazed me.

It was my lost and now found pen!

“What’s so special about a pen?”, is what you are thinking, right?

Well, nothing, except when it is my pen. I have several and love each one. Each one has part of my life in it. If I lose one, it hurts. No, it bleeds!

Ask a writer what his pen means to him. 

You may still be trying to come to terms with my unique obsession, but my little boy, Tanav knows it very well. To tell you a little secret, and to warn you: I have kleptomaniacal tendencies when it comes to any stationary items!

“Wooow!”, I said.

Nothing could have been a better surprise for me. Not at this time, for sure! 

This was an expensive pen which I had gifted myself a few months back. It was lost a few days back at Mussourie, where we’d been on a vacation.

Perhaps the room cleaners misplaced it, or stole it. That couldn’t be true though. Why would any one want to steal a pen? Not unless they really intended to play with my emotions.

Heartbroken, I had written it off. Collateral damage! But the images of it had kept coming back even to this day.

And now, it was in front of me! Like a dream come true.

Tanav had found it in his pouch while he was playing with Sohana, his 2 year old sister.

My little son knew what’s my top of mind.

Do you know what is at the top of your wife’s mind, your son’s, your daughter’s?

I bet you don’t. Because our minds are usually preoccupied with useless thoughts, such as:

  • ..the bad bad world.
  • ..what will they think?
  • ..he/ she (sometimes even the spouse!) is trying to walk away with all the credit!
  • ..the weather!
  • ..death and what happens after?

Do these thoughts help you or your family in any way?

While we are focusing on fear, worry, or hate, it is not possible for us to be experiencing happiness, enthusiasm or love.

If you’re still thinking what is your loved one’s top of mind, let me just say,

he that seeketh, findeth!

My wife’s top concern is the WIFI on her MotoX phone which hasn’t been working. It’s been over 2 months. I have been coolly ignoring it. It’s not my problem, after all!

But the smile it would bring to her face if I do get it fixed would be worth the effort. This week. Or a new phone.

Be present. Know the top of mind of your loved ones. And be intentional about doing what you can once you know it.

Your little effort may give them the wings to fly or at least get them an inch closer to their dreams. You never know!

Learn from your kids. If my 6 year old son can, what’s wrong with you and me?

If you like this post, then show the love by sharing your thoughts.  Wishing all the fellow and future dad’s a very HAPPY FATHER’S DAY!

What Goes Around Comes Around!

I heard this Justin Timberlake song a few days back as an old playlist played in Random mode in my car. The title of the song remained with me long after it played. It made a lot of sense and I realized that one notices that even more as one’s life progresses.

Aren’t we sometimes in doubt if what we are doing will serve any useful purpose at all? What is it that keep us doing our best, relentlessly, day after day after day?


Hear it from my horse’s (..err, I mean my colt’s) mouth


Last night, before sleep time, I asked my 5 year old son, Tanav, “Do you love Mom?

He said, “Yes, of course, I love her a lot!

I asked, “Why do you love her so much?

To which he said, “She’s very cute!

I have this habit of pushing (as some of you may know by now), “Why do you find her so cute?

Tanav said, “..well, because, she is a sweetheart.” (I sometimes feel that Tanav can now sense my train of follow-up questions and kind of enjoys to drag a tad bit himself.)

Okay, what is that one quality in her that you like the most?” I jumped to the point.

Mom is a sweetheart because she does so much and does it all so calmly!

I was now curious to know what Tanav thought was the No. 1 reason he loved me, assuming he did.

After a pause, I asked, “Tanav, Do you love me?

..more than anything else in this world!“, Tanav replied.

..so, far so good“, I thought.

Okay, and what is that one thing that makes you love me so much?“, I asked.

I love Papa because he teaches me so many things!” He said.

That one line touched my heart. Kids always speak the truth. Okay, not always, but you know when they lie, and thankfully they don’t learn the art of deceiving until they become adults.


All of a sudden, all that #$@! makes sense


I smiled. That one line… and everything that I had ever done ever since I was blessed with children made so much more sense.

I have intentionally always walked the extra few yards in making efforts to make learning fun and interesting for all children I know. I am not calling it a mile because that would be an exaggeration. Most parents do that. Moreover, I learn and find it so much fun myself!

The electronic game version of 20 Questions which I bought from Amazon US once again felt worth it. Paid 10$ for shipping over a 15$ game.

Interactive World Map recommended by a friend in Australia (Shef), purchased by another friend in US (Jassi) and sent to me through another colleague’s wife (Subodh’s). Thank you guys! Although Tanav hasn’t really got the hang of it yet but I’m sure that’ll happen soon. (The wait sometimes is worth it too!)

You baby can read CD serieswhich I purchased when I was in Hawaii for work. I paid about $125 but the shipping didn’t happen until after I had left for India. I arranged to have it shipped from my Hotel to my cousin (Sur) in Kentucky. She, in turn, got it shipped to me. All that effort and time, once again, felt worth it!

I have spent a lot of time, money and effort in finding out the best books, movies, games, programs, podcasts  et al. Anything which I think could help develop that curiosity of learning in my kids.

I am pretty sure all parents do that. However, sometimes we aren’t sure if all that would help or not. We feel discouraged and demotivated.

Everything happens for a reason but we only realize that as we progress on the life’s timeline. The dots can only be connected backwards as Steve Jobs once said.

You can’t connect the dots looking forward, you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. Because believing that will give you the confidence to follow your heart, even when it leads you off the well worn path.


Keep Walking…


Keep doing what you do. Have faith. Even if you feel discouraged sometimes. Do it with your heart’s commitment. It will always bear fruit. If not now, then later. But it will!

I hope you like this post. If you do, then go back and ask your kid, Why does he or she love you so much?

I am sure their answer will bring you a smile. All that you have been doing all these years will suddenly make even more sense.

Just like it did for my wife and I last night. 

‘D’ for Dance

Everyone has heard of the BIG FAT Indian wedding. And it’s even more so, if it is a Punjabi one.

We recently celebrated my brother-in-law’s wedding. There was a lot of excitement in the family and although the parent’s did most work, we thought we were busy too.

Amidst all this, my wife, Deepti, had an idea, “We should do a dance performance for the newly-wed couple.”

I affirmed that this was a superb idea.

Dinky and I-2

A few days passed and then, reality set in. It now appeared like a daunting task. One that would involve so many decisions, – hire a trainer or prepare on our own, which dance form given our body’s (in-) flexibility levels and so on.. 

Besides, we would be working and have two kids to manage. I was very skeptical about being able to pull this off. This idea had every chance of dying prematurely just like most ideas do. 

Thankfully, something changed.

Deepti asked me to take charge. “Manage it like a project and just make it work”, she said. I felt a sense of ownership. Giving up was not an option any more. I started asking, “How to make it happen?” rather than “Whether it would work or not?”.

Ask the right questions, for our questions create a mindspace where we spend all our time

Deepti, of course, helped in every way possible – from searching for the trainers, to doing the cost-benefit, to selecting the songs. We decided that a trainer closer home would suit us better. It was December and it’d be tough to go to a distant place in the chill. Our trainer made it even easier by suggesting that he could come to our place instead. That was so Wow.

But there were several other occasions too when we wanted to give up. It is so easy to give up.

I was not even feeling well at one point and the last thing I wanted to do was practice my dance moves. We still kept going, slowly but steadily. I think it was our motivation that kept us going: We would be so proud to have danced for the couple that is so dear to us. It would make fond memories that we will cherish forever.

There was another roadblock of getting the song clip from our trainer. We had moved to my bro-in-law’s place and were busy with other aspects of the wedding. Once again, our trainer came to our rescue. Then, a techie friend of mine figured a way to carry the songs to the venue where we were supposed to perform.

At the time when we were supposed to shake a leg, we got busy with the guests and having our photographs clicked. I don’t know about Deepti but something kept telling me even then to forget about our dance

  • We haven’t rehearsed enough!
  • What if we forgot the steps?
  • It’s embarrassing to face such a large audience. 

But then, there was a motivating inner voice too, which told me the opposite –

  • Don’t even think of giving up after having come so far!
  • Do everything possible to make your idea a success!
  • Remember your motivation.

It dawned on me that it didn’t matter how perfectly we danced. All that mattered was that we danced and made it entertaining. We were prepared enough to do that.

A good plan today is better than a perfect one tomorrow. 

Our good plan was in place. I mustered some courage (read: gulped down my drink) and whispered into Deepti’s ear, “Let’s do it!”

She said, “Okay!”

It was as if she was waiting for me to ask. We were all set. An announcement was made. We were on the stage, yes, dancing. We were having a lot of fun. I remembered our trainer’s tip, “Just enjoy and sing along and it’ll be easy.”

When our dance ended, we hugged. I heard an applause. We had inspired a few other performances too, including our five year old son, Tanav’s.

Some appreciations followed.

I am not sure if people liked our show or if they were just being nice. But I am sure we will look back at this and it will always bring smiles.

They say that “If you desire something with all your heart, the whole world conspires to fulfill your desire.” That proved to be true in this case too.  

Our best wishes to the newly-wed couple: Your love is beautiful and inspiring and we look forward to seeing it grow. Always. 

What Were You Doing Then?

“When I was 5 years old, my mother always told me that happiness was the key to life. When I went to school, they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wrote down ‘happy’. They told me I didn’t understand the assignment, and I told them they didn’t understand life.”

― John Lennon

John Lennon got it right very early in his life. Above everything else we want in life – that luxury car, a dream bungalow, family trip to Hawai’i, or even an appreciation note – is our desire to reach that Destination: Happiness.

“Your days are your life in miniature”. Happy days convert into successful days which over time convert into successful life. Therefore, it is important to be happy.

Okay.. so we all want to be happy, but what does it take?

The best I used to do about it was hope that it would all work out on its own one day, perhaps praying to God would help get there faster, or may be I will need a happiness Mantra.

I did some research to see what successful people did to ensure happy days. And, I found a common theme. They didn’t leave their happiness to chance. Instead, they reflected on one question – “What was I doing when things were working out?” 

It’s so important and yet such an easy one to forget. You have to have your list to be able to repeat those things. That would multiply your chances of having happy days.

I started doing that myself and have realized that I am able to accomplish a lot more things than otherwise. I haven’t reached that destination yet – No way! But at least I am enjoying the journey.

So, here’s what I was doing when things were working out for me:

  1. I was getting up early – at 5 o’ clock!
  2. I was spending time with myself – Reflecting, Exercising, Learning, and Meditating. Everything else I did had a unique difference on days I spent time with myself!
  3. I broke down bigger problems into smaller ones – Call it WBS or lag measures. My five year old son, Tanav asked me a few weeks back, “Papa, do you do big things or small?” The question got me thinking and I replied, “I do only small things. The ones that are BIG, I break down to smaller ones. That way, I only have to do a bunch of small things that are manageable and it gives me a sense of accomplishment as I go along.” That didn’t impress him much though, and he said, “Papa, may be you should consider doing BIG things too!”  
  4. I was spending time with family“Your job won’t take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and family will. Stay in touch.”
  5. I was present in the moment. I wasn’t thinking about home while at work and about work at home.
  6. I was listening to the best of the best music. I once had a rule to listen only to music that touched my soul and settle for nothing less!
  7. I was planning for growth“You will be the same person in five years as you are today except for two things, the people you meet and the books you read.” – Mark Twain.
  8. I was spending time in nature.
  9. I told stories to Tanav. Tanav has become an amazing story teller himself. I really love that because stories create such a lasting impression.
  10. I had faith. I didn’t let the day go by without laughing. I wasn’t worrying: A survey has revealed that 40 percent of things we worry about never happen; 30 percent have already happened and cannot be changed; 22 percent regards problems which are beyond our control; only eight percent of what we worry about are situations over which we have influence. So, why worry. It’s pointless!

The list is not etched in concrete, but for now, this is what it is. It will change as I mature and learn more.

It’s certainly not easy for me to follow it but one thing is certain – if I choose to follow it, I will be successful. After all, this is my personal success mantra.

So, what is your success mantra? Do you have your answer to the question, “What was I doing then?” I’ll love to hear from you.

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Don’t Look For It And You Will Find It!

This was about a month back. I had brought a new board game for children, Carrom. My nieces were over and I was excited to introduce them to the game which I used to love playing myself as a child.

But my excitement soon turned into disappointment to hear that kids had lost it’s striker somewhere. Striker is a vital part of this game, you can’t play the game without it.

I asked my niece, “Saesha, where is the striker?”

She smiled and said,“I don’t know. It is lost and we just can’t find it.”

I was furious and this was not acceptable. How could she lose something and so conveniently say she can’t find it.

I said, “Okay, so you have searched for it and can’t find it, right?

She said, “Yes!”

I said, “Okay. Then keep searching for it until you do find it!”

I soon got busy with something and about one hour later, I saw all the kids except Saesha were watching TV. I asked and they said she was still in the playroom. I went there and found Saesha still looking for the lost striker. Her eyes full of tears just waiting to come down. I asked her what was wrong and she said, “You had asked me to keep searching until I find it. I still can’t find it.”

I was ashamed of myself for being so harsh on my little sweetheart. I had to do something to make her feel better. I suddenly recalled that as kids, we used to also lose a lot of things.

I had once lost my favorite mouth organ and Mom had told me, “You can’t find it, right? Now don’t look for it and you will find it.” 

It is hard not to look for it but when I eventually did, I magically found it!

The trick worked every time and this had almost become a game for us as kids. Whenever any one lost something, we would shout, “Don’t look for it and you will find it.”

I decided to use the same trick with Saesha and told her not to look for the striker and then she would find it. At least, that brought a smile on her face. I realized that her smile was worth more than the price of any game. 

It was only a matter of time and the lost striker appeared from somewhere. The trick had worked and we cheered!

I was more surprised than Saesha that this trick worked now too! I used to believe it as a child but it was different now. I was now grown up, and had dismissed this long back as being just a coincidenceAfter all, I had become logical and rational and it was silly to think that not searching for something can have a greater chance of finding it than searching for it. That would be ridiculous and at best a nice childhood fantasy. 

But life has made me reconsider that.

Recently at work, I racked my brains trying to solve an issue. I had already spent many conscious hours on it, in vain. I was once referred to as the Troubleshooter, a title that gave me a great sense of pride. And now, I could not solve what I would classify as a Medium complexity issue. I could not digest that. But it was late and I had to call it a day.

While driving back home, I was simply looking at the skyline and enjoying nature’s mystical beauty. And Bam! The solution to that problem at work unfolded in my head so clearly and so completely. I had found the solution when I didn’t look for it! It was like Magic. 

The trick that worked when I was a child really did work now too! 

I am pretty sure others have experienced this Magic too. However, most, like me, have grown up to brush these aside as sheer coincidencesBut coincidences are God’s way of telling us He exists! 

“Coincidence is God’s way of remaining anonymous.” ― Albert Einstein, The World as I See It

I now try to be intentional about making time to forget the problems of work and life. To simply look at the sky, the trees or a flower. Whenever I do that, I get a deeper understanding of life and everything that is part of it.

If you don’t believe me, then it’s not as if trying it out for yourself will cost you something. Don’t look for it and you will find it.

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Don’t Bluff Those Little Fellas

 Most of this month, we have been busy in the process of finalizing which car to buy. It was a long and strenuous process to decide which one would be the best fit for our purpose. What made it take even longer, like most such family decisions, was the fact that everyone was involved in the process – From my Dad to my 6 month old daughter, Sohana. No kidding, every one has been equal party to the decision making process.

If you are wondering how can a 6 month old decide, well, it is simple – her happiness or crankiness levels during the various test rides were taken as indicators.

Even after deciding on the make, several other decisions had to be made such as the model, the color, the dealer and so on and so forth. I left the decision on which color to go for with my wife and 4 year old son, Tanav. So, I showed them all seven available colors on the pamphlet and left them alone in the room so that they could discuss and decide.

After a while, Tanav came out running and excitedly told me, “Papa, Dark brown color is what we would go for!“.

I assumed that this is a collective decision between him and my wife, and that Tanav was only communicating it to me. But as some one has rightly said, to assume is to make an ass of and me, and that’s what it was this time around as well. Later that evening, I casually asked my wife, “So, Brown it is, right?”

She replied, “No, not at all, I always said it is going to be the Serene Blue color which I love so much. You also like that one, don’t you?”

I was taken by surprise and asked, “But Tanav told me it was Brown. Dark Brown. And I thought both of you decided together!”

To which she said, “Oh yes, he is hung up on the Brown, and I don’t really know why. We couldn’t really agree on a color when we were discussing. I kept insisting on Blue and he was stuck with Brown.

I asked, “So…what next?”

To which she replied, “I don’t know. You tell me?”

I said, “Okay, I guess we will tell him that the Brown ones are out of stock, and we have to go with the Blue one. No Big Deal!”

There was something about that little proposal of mine that I hadn’t liked. I imagine it was my sixth sense telling me something but then it was an easy and perhaps a practical solution to get around the problem at hand, so I  let that thought pass.

Now there is something special about Sixth Sense that one has to remember –  whenever it tells you something, you better pay attention and act on it. It’s a message from up above which, if ignored, will come back to bite you. If not now, then later. But it will come back. Moreover, Sixth Sense doesn’t like being ignored, so if you repeatedly do that, it stops coming to share those insights and that could well be the beginning of your downfall.

I am glad I had the following realization the next morning. “The small little thing about the car color and we are considering lying to our own Son? Just to have our way! That can’t be right! What are we teaching our kid? Children are smarter than we can imagine, he will come to know soon that all colors were indeed available and that he was lied to. Besides, he will be grown up soon and learn to cook up stories to tell us to have what he wants. Are we okay with that? Of course, we are not!”

When I see my wife in the evening, I am going to tell her the revised plan -one that may be relatively more difficult one but is surely one that will help build a stronger bond with Tanav and will teach him a thing or two. We will tell him the truth and try to convince him using the same logic through which we ourselves like the Blue color, or perhaps understand his point of view. I am positive we will be able to come to a conclusion either way.

I am mindful of the occasions when we may have taken a short-cut or cut a little corner. Perhaps we all do it every once in a while. I am going to let bygones be exactly that, and take my lesson for going forward – Those small eyes and ears are learning from each interaction. Don’t even THINK of bluffing them!

I hope you will take away something from our experience and if that is the case, then please leave a comment below.