Long back, we as a family took the membership of the British Council Library.
Since then, we visit at least once every two months. My children associate Library with me-time, reading and chaat.
Yes, chaat, the very famous roadside Indian snack!
There is a famous chaat wala right outside the library who we don’t miss ever on the way back.
Truth be told, more than the library, it is the chaat wala that we crave for! It has become a ritual for us.
This Saturday, I was ordering Chaat, as my family was waiting. Sohana, my six year old daughter noticed a man standing nearby smoking a cigarette.
There is a panwadi right opposite the Chaat wala. Panwadi, the betel seller who sells cigarettes as well.
Sohana asked me a simple question: Everyone knows smoking is injurious to health, it even causes cancer, but still people decide to smoke. Why’s that Papa?
Why do people decide to smoke when it’s not good for their own selves.
Good question, I said.
She continued to look at me. The look on her face told me she was looking for an answer better than that.
So, I added, Yes, they shouldn’t!
But why do they decide to smoke?, she reiterated.
I couldn’t think anything better, and said, perhaps because they’re fools.
She said, He doesn’t look like one though Papa!
I looked at this smoker who I noticed was a well built man with decent looks.
Ok, pass!, I said, giving her a clap at her hand with mine, as if she had asked me a new riddle she had learnt at school to which I didn’t know the answer.
She was not impressed. And to be honest, neither was I!
Okay, I said and walked straight to this guy, and asked, “Hi, my daughter and I’m doing a little survey. Would you like to participate?“
He gave me a nod.
I repeated Sohana’s question, “Why did you decide to smoke when it’s not good for your own self?“
He looked at me puzzled, then smiled and whispered in my ear, “To be honest, I started smoking because my Dad told me I should not smoke!“
I smiled and told that to Sohana later. She also laughed. But perhaps there was some truth in his statement.
We are mostly given instructions about life – Do this, Don’t do that. That’s it.
But has anyone ever taught you how to make decisions in your life?
Think of your own life. Haven’t you made decisions to prove something to someone or even to your own self?
Well, because you don’t know any better. We still make decisions, and since morning, you would have made at least a 100 decisions.
But unfortunately, we are doing so without having any process around it. And then, we complain that things are not going right for us -bad grades, career crisis, divorces and so on.
Well, the root cause is the lack of an understanding of decision making process.
And that’s exactly what I am here to fill today with this DISC.
Be Deliberate. Decide to decide! Otherwise, someone else will decide for you.
Remember the Ideal.me: Who I really want to be? Then ask, “Will this decision take me few steps closer to the ideal.me or few steps away from it?“
Someone once told me the definition of Hell:
Next, start making Small decisions today. They will help you can make BIG decisions tomorrow!
- What to wear today for work?
- What will I do this weekend?
- Will I say Yes, No or May be to the 1000 proposals my friends will be coming up with?
“Everything you’re doing right now is preparing you for a time that is yet to come.” – Jeff Goins.
Compare Short term v/s long term gains
Well, that solves the why people smoke puzzle. They smoke for getting instant pleasure, that is short term happiness even though in the long term, it will destroy them.
And why only smoking, there are many other examples like abusing, bullying, cheating and drinking. They all give you a kick in the short term, but in the long term they will destroy you. Next time you feel the urge, use this table and then make a decision:
Who do you really want to become? Your Ideal.me.
Well, there’s no guarantee of success, but you can always improve your odds.
And becoming a better decision maker using this DISC will give you the best chance possible.
If you like this post, then show the love by sharing it with friends and family. The best part of writing a blog is the discussion that follows, so do register your thoughts and views below.