Your Guide To Actually Becoming Rich, Quick!

A

s I stepped out for a morning walk, I heard some shouts from the neighbour’s house. It was a heated argument between my neighbour and his beloved wife. 

The husband screamed, “Yes, I called you that, because you have made life so difficult for me!” The wife was quick to retaliate sobbingly, “You will never understand what all I have to put up with. Thankless creature!

Well, before you jump to conclusions, answer this:

When was the last time you had a quarrel with someone dear to you?

If it happened in the last few weeks, then perhaps you are not any better than my neighbour.

To be honest, neither was I.. until some time back.

Reality is that, when we’re under pressure, we all tend to become such nasty human beings who we otherwise abhor.

We say things we don’t mean. Curse our loved ones and regret later. Apologising later doesn’t help as the harm is usually already done. It’s hard and sometimes impossible to bring back the trust and bond we held earlier.

It’s only during these stressful times or crisis situations that our value system is actually tested. And unfortunately, that’s where we mostly fail.

Why does it happen?

That’s because even though we talk about family values all the time, rarely can we put a finger on it. Even fewer chances that we have it written down, in black and white. The idea itself might sound ridiculous to you.

No wonder then, that we miss the point, act weak or chicken out during the times we need to recall our values the most! After all, when all is going well, there is nothing at stake – we can easily remain respectful, honest and fearless. It is the difficult times which truly tests our character and value system which is built over time.

Not having our “values” on top of mind lets our natural instincts to take over when push comes to shove.

You may agree with me by now that it is important to clearly define family values. The next question is how to do so?

How about taking a cue from the Corporate Core Values. Every organisation’s HR does it’s best in displaying them, replaying them, and celebrating them. It’s done so that people make the decisions in line with the Organisation’s values when the time comes.

I do remember the core values for my employer. It’s likely you remember your’s too! It’s thanks to the several measures that are taken so that employees don’t forget these.

Isn’t it, then, a shameful irony, that although we remember our work values, we don’t even have any personal (family) core values.

Don’t get me wrong. Not for a second am I suggesting to take your work any less seriously. All I am saying is that a disproportionate weight-age is given to our personal lives and relationships which is generally equally, if not more, important to us.

I am proposing for you to create your Family Core Values. It addresses the HOW of whatever you do.

It took me some convincing at home for my family to come on-board with this idea. After that, we had a few family meetings to agree on what we value in our family. Here’s our list:

  1. Courage over Comfort
  2. Respect at all times
  3. Honour ourselves to honour others
  4. Integrity even when times are tough

Next morning, I put these on my blackboard and began thinking how to make this an easy recall. Before long, I realised that the initials in a certain order make the acronym RICH!

R

– Respect at all times

I

– Integrity even when times are tough

C

– Courage over Comfort

H

– Honour ourselves to honour others

That’s how we become a RICH family overnight. 

I woke the children to tell them that we won a lottery.. we are now rich! Their little eyes opened with a ‘pop’. When I told them the acronym, they were exhilarated that our little family exercise had made us RICH overnight.

My five year old daughter suggested that we create a poster where we show our family values “RICH” inside a Heart shape and stick it in the play room. That would constantly remind us that we hold these values close to our hearts.

Well, that’s us. This was one of the best steps we have taken in this direction. Of course, we need to keep having displays, replays and celebrate our Family Core Values to reinforce it.

What about you, what is holding you back?

Take some time off and agree on your Family Values. Display them. Practice them. Celebrate them.

Don’t leave it to chance. This will make you RICH! Really really RICH! With something money can’t buy, and with something no one can ever take away. 

Why You Need to Bring Your Office Home!

“What should be the frequency of this meeting?”

“How about once every six months?”

“No, that’s too less, we do need it at least once in three months.”.

Nothing unusual about that dialogue right?

Not until I tell you that is a conversation between me and my nine year old son, Tanav.

Yes, we do plan and have meetings at home. Just like office. In fact, I just finished a meeting with Tanav, my son (see below an earlier recording)

Office meetings are generally considered a waste of time, too lo..ng and boring.  But no matter how much we complain about them, if they’re right way – they help in planning, reviewing progress and resolving issues. In acknowledging people for their work. Meetings are, indeed, an essential for any organization…including the home organization

Strike the right chord and get insights that are impossible to get otherwise. You will discover a whole new person in your family member! 

[bctt tweet=”Don’t live with strangers in the house all your life and call it a family!” username=”mohitsawhney”]

These meetings can take your relationship with your family on the growth trajectory .

Human mind is complex. It has inhibitions. It doesn’t share easily. Not even with people who are close to us!  Expecting others to open up in a normal setting, is out of question. We have to book a time, a place and tell the participants (in this case our son or daughter or wife), that you need them there!

..And why just meetings? There is quite a lot of good stuff we need to bring home from office! 

Organizations have a set of systems meant to make things happen smoothly and improve. 

But home sweet home? Do we have any systems? If you’re like most people, your answer is a No.

In the absence of any system for family to be cohesive, performing and improving, we just rely on God Almighty to take care of our home affairs. But , God only helps those who help themselves!

“I am putting in all the efforts and time in office to earn and save only for the family.”, you might say. 

Well, thanks but your family needs “you”. Your time. Now. Not later.

If you don’t give the time now, your connection with your folks is broken… forever!

Now, if you tell me: I really don’t have the time.

Okay, then here’s another tip: Go Lean.

Organizations are shouting about going lean: which means reducing waste. But your family organization? You are the CEO. Or co-CEO or whatever of that, no?

So get your act together and go lean. Here’s what I mean:

  • No Phone on Weekends. (basically this means using phone as a plain simple phone, that too if it’s absolutely needed!)
  • No TV on Mondays.
  • No Facebook App on the Smartphone. And yes, No Whatsapp too!
  • No Technology in the Bedroom.

You get the idea. Reduce the wasteful activities. That will make time for useful ones.

[bctt tweet=”Oh God! Today, give me the strength to say ‘no’ to things I may do only to regret later. ” username=”mohitsawhney”]

By the way, yours truly has done all of the above. Of course, one by one though.

When I shared the idea of a No Phone Day on Saturdays, it seemed impossible. Everyone resisted. Initial few weeks were tough. The cries and frustrations were all so visible on everyone’s faces. But soon, good things began to happen.

Tanav, my nine year old son, opened his bookshelf after ages! We have played several board games as a family.  Not so long ago, he was hooked to Clash of Clans. We had no idea how to get him off!

And the best part was yet to come: Tanav, my son, loved the idea so much that he himself proposed to have Sunday’s too as No Phone Days!

A few months have passed, and Tanav has just recently proposed to have Mondays as No TV Days! Can you beat that!

Today is Day 1 of No TV Day. Excitement abound. Tanav is busy cleaning his study table, and Sohana, my 4 year old daughter, my bookshelf.

It’s going well. We haven’t switched on the TV. Not as yet. It’s not easy but we will face this challenge as a family.

..That my friends is Sawhney Family Organization going Lean. When is Your’s? 


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Change Your Password Now!

Last Year was perhaps the worst year of my life. I went through a dark long patch of depression, followed by misunderstandings that strained relations with a loved one.

I felt betrayed and disillusioned. Whatever I was doing suddenly seemed so meaningless! I thought I was finished.

Thankfully things got better by the end of the year but I knew I had to do something to keep things on the path of recovery. We ourselves are responsible to a great extent for many problems in our life. Therefore, I had to mend my ways to make things alright and prepare for future.

After some reflection about what I was doing wrongly, I concluded that:

1. I was not being true with anyone. Not even with my own self!

2. I was negative and missing the “moments”.

3. I felt like a failure in life, no confidence left to reach for any new goals.

But what could I do? I had got stuck in a loop of guilt, doubts and fears. To make it worse, there was a pressure which made it even more difficult to get out of this trap – “What example am I setting for my children?

How would I tell them to perform well at school and in life when I myself was feeling weak in my knees.

That’s when Dinky, my wife told me about THE SECRET.

“Think of WHAT you want to achieve, without worrying about the HOW. Invisible forces would make you achieve your desires.”

What did I want to achieve, I thought. Following popped-up in my head:

1. Resolve my fight with myself about who I am, who I pose to be and who others think I am. This is what Robin Sharma calls “The Integrity Gap“.  Kill my Integrity Gap. Make it Zero (0)!

2. Stop running the rat race and savor the present, “the now“.

3. Have a higher self esteem and be in control. I was running negative on that, and it was just crushing  me. I had to fall in love with myself, again.

Now that I knew I had to do these, would it work on its own? No! I had to remember these goals for them to settle in my head. And how would I do that?

I was looking blankly at my laptop screen, while thinking what do I do to achieve these little roadblocks just big enough to create a mess in my life. Suddenly the following dialog box popped up:

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This pop-up gave birth to an idea in my mind. I changed my password to IntegrityGap@0.

From then onward, every time I unlocked my computer (which is dozens of times daily) using my new password, it was like a subliminal brainwash. Next 90 days allowed me to remove a lot of unspoken baggage I was carrying since many years! It made me a better person, one who was more at peace with himself. True to himself!

I couldn’t wait to change my next password. Changing passwords for security used to be mundane and irritating affair but now it had become a life changing ritual.

My next password was CelebrateLife@100%. 90 days focused on celebrating and being grateful for the moments God was blessing me with. Not thinking too much about the past and neither the present, just living in the moment. 90 days is good enough time to etch these ideas in ones brain.

Some say it takes 66, others say 21 days to form a new habit. Be on the safe side and go for 90 days which is the limit most organizations have before you must change your password.

While this helped, my low self esteem was still coming in my way to live life fully. That feeling that I was not good enough and the fear that someone would soon find out, was killing me.

My next password is, therefore, IAmTheBest#1 .

Like Magic, a few testimonials followed within the next few months. I became a certified interviewer at work, cleared a work interview to move into what I always wanted to do: Program Management et al.

Oops! Did I just share my current password with you?

Never mind, because 90 days come to an end today and it’s time for the quarterly ceremony to change my password again. You too are invited!

 


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