THE EVERYDAY SHAMING
“I practiced your surnames spellings’ in free time.”, the guard at the office reception said to me smilingly.
I go to this office reception everyday to get my visitor card made. That’s how the work arrangement is for me, I have to get visitor access daily to get in. Have been doing that for over six months now.
This guard, who sits next to the pretty receptionist, is supposed to enter my last name in to the computer which then pulls up my details needed to print the visitor pass.
Now, this guy is not comfortable using the keyboard, not good in English language and not even computer savvy. No wonder he’s terribly slow and unsure. But the pretty lady next to him doesn’t consider that as an excuse and misses no opportunity to scold him gravely for his slowness.
One more thing that makes the guard struggle is the spellings of my last name – SAWHNEY, which are a bit non-intuitive for any one.
Receptionist’s repeated under the belt attacks would have caused enough humiliation to the poor guy who is anyway not well read. So much so that he actually took out the time to practice the spellings of my last name and finally remembered it today.
For the first time, he seemed to have a sense of confidence and pride! I felt like he had been waiting for me to come today to get the visitor card. And it gave him a reason to be happy about himself.
I was touched – How much did this thing which is of no relevance to anyone else mean to this guy! I was glad that I was the cause of his smirk and tinkle today.
It proves the point that each one of us which ever level we might be at, long for a feeling of self-worth and respect.
That is a non-negotiable. We try to get it back if we see our self-respect being taken away. If we do get it back, we get a reason to keep going and if we don’t we fall into a trap. One of feeling inferior and on the receiving end. Being the butt of jokes! We try to act defensive and it shows. Over the time, this leads to serious depression or anxiety issues.
I pray that I don’t give anyone a feeling of lack of self worth. I pray that others keep this in mind while dealing with people.
One does have to give feedback but I pray that we are considerate. Let’s not become focused on the individual’s inabilities, let’s focus instead on what is the improvement needed and help people genuinely.
I pray I do my best work but when I fail to meet other’s expectations, they too are considerate with me.
People will not change just because I want them to. I will get into situations when I will be insulted, made fun of or even be yelled at. I pray that I stay strong and in peace in such turbulent times.
I pray that I don’t consider paying them back in the same coin.
I pray that my peace conveys the message to the other person that they are the one who are in the wrong. That it’s their problem and not mine.
I pray that I worry only about what I can improve on and don’t blame myself more than that. I pray that I respect myself and that I’m able to move on.
I pray that I am able to come back stronger each time, and don’t kill myself over what I cannot do.
I pray that I never undervalue my self worth. No matter what. That I am at peace in any circumstance. For the sake of my God, myself, my family and my work.
SO, SHAME OR LOVE?
You can either shame someone or love someone.
You can either make the world slightly better or slightly worse.
What would you choose: Shame or Love?”
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